Stuck on You
by Diva-esque
Summary: XXXholic-CLAMP Campus Duklyon Crossover. Kentarou seeks out Yuuko for a Wish, but Watanuki is going to be the one paying the price. Kentarou-Takeshi, Watanuki-Domeki.


**Stuck on You**

_By aishuu_

Note: An XXXholic/CLAMP Campus Duklyon Crossover

* * *

The light in Yuuko's eyes boded no good for Watanuki's mental stability.

In the past year, he watched her become engaged whenever a customer came through the door. He was observant enough to note the pattern - sometimes she acted solemnly, usually right before selling a customer something that would inevitably lead to their own damnation. Other times she was cheerful, and the transaction ended on a positive note for all involved. The rarest, though, was when she acted giddily, like a five-year-old on a sugar high who had just learned a secret.

As soon as he showed the handsome young man (Watanuki definitely didn't swing that way, but he was smart enough to recognize the potential customer was nothing short of being a pretty boy) to her parlor, she gave a wide smile and demanded Watanuki bring out dango and green tea, before bouncing forward to introduce herself. The young man gave her a happy grin in response, and Watanuki could feel his own IQ slipping by mere proximity to the hyper pair.

This was going to be one of _those_ customers.

Luckily Yuuko's request was an excuse for Watanuki to dodge out of the preliminaries. He hurried to the kitchen, ever his refuge, and set the pot onto the stove to get it brewing. He'd picked up dango earlier, and pulled out the necessary plates and cups, before skewering the sweets onto thin sticks made from bamboo. Mentally he gritted his teeth, but his irritation had no affect on his preparations. Presentation was always important with food.

He could hear the soft murmur of voices coming from the parlor, along with the occasional peal of masculine laughter. This was unusual, since customers only came to Yuuko when they were desperate, confused or terrified. The few times that the atmosphere hadn't been tense resulted in Watanuki's mental maiming. He still couldn't look at the drug store owner without cringing.

Watanuki dawdled as long as he dared, but eventually the threat of Yuuko's wrath - and the promise of her corresponding threats to increase his debt to her - outweighed his reluctance. When he finally returned, carrying a neatly arranged tray, he was relieved to see that the initial negotiations were finished. From the satisfied smile on Yuuko's face, the payment she'd elicited was something good. Watanuki preferred not to know.

Though the pair was arranged in a curious fashion. Rather than sitting facing each other, they were sharing Yuuko's divan, sprawled on their sides. It was almost intimate, Watanuki thought, but wasn't about to point that out.

"Ah, good! Here's the snacks!" Yuuko pronounced as Watanuki set the tray on the floor in front of them. "Watanuki is an excellent cook!"

Watanuki was smart enough not to point out he hadn't actually done any cooking this time. Luckily Yuuko was already moving onto the next subject. "Watanuki Kimihiro, I'd like you to meet Higashikunimaru Kentarou. He's come to me for some help."

"I need help convincing my Takepon that I really do love him with all of my heart!" Kentarou chimed in. Watanuki could practically see a sparkling, floral pattern dancing behind Kentarou's head as he clasped his hands to his chest like a lovestruck girl.

"You're helping someone with _romantic_ problems?"

"I'm a regular Cupid!" Yuuko chirped, grinning at him. "And Kenpi's problem is pretty easy for the Mistress of Dimensions to fix!"

This was bad, bad, bad. This was so many levels of bad that Watanuki couldn't even imagine how to start counting them. Yuuko as a matchmaker was the things nightmares were made of. "That's... great," he said half-heartedly, before glancing longingly at the door.

"And I'll need you to fetch something to get the job done, Watanuki! Go to the storage room and fetch the little packet you see on the third shelf on the left. It's white, about the size of your thumb," she said, indicating the approximate size by pinching her fingers. She made a shooing motion, indicating that she'd given all the instructions she was going to.

Watanuki wished that the screened door out of the parlor could properly slam so he could vent his frustration. He settled for stomping off grumpily to the storage room. Sometimes it seemed like he'd spent half his teenage life in the dark place, cleaning out the vast, peculiar treasure trove, he thought as he pushed his way back in. What really bugged him about the room was the fact that he never seemed to make any progress in sorting things. There were always new items, turning up in places he had already cleaned.

He found the requested tube quickly, which was to be expected. Whenever Yuuko wanted something from her prize chest, it was always easily located. It looked like one of those little packets he'd seen the school drama department experiment with - but obviously that wasn't what was in it. Nothing in Yuuko's stock was ordinary.

His mission complete, he went back to the parlor, only to discover a peculiar tableau. Kentarou was standing in front of Yuuko, posed in a very strange fashion that made Watanuki think of a _sentai_ series character. Yuuko had her head tilted thoughtfully. "I think you need to raise your elbow a bit more - it'll look more commanding," she advised. "And point your foot forward."

Kentarou complied automatically. "Doesn't make me look too feminine?"

"No, it looks great!" Yuuko encouraged, offering two thumbs up. "And if your Takepon adopts the stance we discussed earlier, you'll compliment each other perfectly!"

Watanuki did not want to know what they were talking about. Luckily he didn't have to, because Yuuko noticed his presence. "Give it here," she said, holding up a hand. He tossed it to her obediently.

"How's that stuff going to help?" Kentarou asked as he dropped the exaggerated posture.

She smiled. "It's a special kind of spirit gum," she answered.

"Ohhh! Like the stuff you use to stick those fake gems to your face when you're cosplaying!" Kentarou actually clapped his hands in excitement.

"That's one brand of it. This gum comes from a very special place, and its adhesive power comes from a different source." The playfulness slid off her face abruptly. "It uses the bonds we make between each other."

Watanuki swallowed loudly, but Kentarou just looked enchanted at the idea. "Really?"

"There are ties between all people," Yuuko said, in her cryptic fashion that both enlightened and made Watanuki's stomach clench. "We are all tied to everyone we encounter, though the strength of those ties varies depending on the quality of the relationship."

She motioned Watanuki and Kentarou closer. Kentarou bounced forward like an overly eager puppy, desperate to please and sickeningly curious. Watanuki gave Yuuko a mistrustful glare, but she merely smiled enigmatically in return and gestured again. He slunk forward resentfully, mentally reminding himself that she hadn't managed to kill him yet.

"Hold out your hands," she ordered. Kentarou thrust out his right hand immediately, but Watanuki took several seconds longer to procure his own. She ripped open the package before taking Watanuki's hand in her own and dabbing the glue-like substance onto his palm. "Now shake hands."

Watanuki didn't even have a time to react before Kentarou grabbed his hand. Kentarou's hand was that of a pampered rich boy, complete with manicure, although he did have a distressingly strong grip. Watanuki gave a rather limp-wristed reply, but was unable to draw away a second later. A second attempt to pull back confirmed what he'd already suspected.

They were glued together.

Watanuki's temper exploded, like Old Faithful, perfectly on cue. "And just what is this supposed to prove?!" Watanuki demanded at the top of his lungs. He tried to pull his hand back a third time, but it was a wasted effort.

Kentarou seemed puzzled as he turned to Yuuko, completely ignoring the spazzing Watanuki. "Your employee is cute and all, but he's not the boy I want to be glued to. Besides, we just met."

Watanuki was more blunt. "This is all your fault!" he shrieked at Yuuko, his voice threatening to break the upper levels of the sound barrier. "I don't even know this guy!"

To Watanuki's relief, his hand slipped away from the customer's almost instantly. He cradled it against his chest, fuming.

Yuuko took a long sip of tea, before letting out a chuckle. "Wasn't that easy?" 

Watanuki was too busy indulging in the sensation of righteous, inarticulate rage to speak.

"Now, if you had confessed your undying love for Kentarou-kun, you'd still be stuck together." Yuuko looked very much like a cat that had just caught a canary as her lips curved into a smile. "The glue only releases after the truth of the bond between those... affixed... is acknowledged."

Kentarou was staring at his fingers curiously, flexing his hand around to check for residual stickiness. "And this will convinced Takepon that I really love him?" Kentarou asked.

"I can't guarantee that, but at least you'll be able to know what he really feels for you," Yuuko replied. "You didn't pay enough to be offered any guarantees - you'll have to take a chance. If I were you, I'd go find him to make your case. The glue's good for another twelve hours or so, so be careful who you touch until it dries. Once you're attached, the only thing that can break the adhesive is the truth."

Kentarou's expression was thoughtful for a second, lending him an unexpected look of intelligence. Then he smiled. "Thank you, Yuuko-chan!" Kentarou said as he bowed flamboyantly, spun around, and darted for the door eagerly. Right as he was about to cross over the threshold, he hesitated, gave another brilliant grin and blew a kiss to Yuuko before bouncing out.

Yuuko actually _giggled._ It was the scariest sound Watanuki had ever heard.

* * *

That evening, as Doumeki was walking him home, Watanuki vented about the sheer unfairness of his life and how Yuuko abused him routinely. It was nice, he could admit privately to himself, to yell at Doumeki, since it was a great stress reliever. He did occasionally wonder why Doumeki always showed up after he was done work, but he wasn't stupid enough to question it. While in Doumeki's company, nothing could eat him. So he could put up with the irritation Doumeki evoked just by breathing.

Watanuki was just describing Yuuko's unreasonable meal demands - udon, daigakuimo, kabocha manju and sukiyaki, all in one meal. It was amazing that Yuuko was so slender, considering she ate like a pig. Watanuki was so wound up in elaborating on the injustice he suffered that he missed avoiding a skateboard that had somehow been abandoned in the middle of the sidewalk.

Without thinking, Doumeki caught him by the hand to keep him from falling. And even after steadying Watanuki, his hold didn't let loose. Watanuki stared down at their hands in horror as he tried to pull away - and failed. He was firmly stuck to Doumeki.

"What is this?" Doumeki asked, staring down at their conjoined fingers.

It only took Watanuki a second to realize the glue from earlier in the day hadn't worn off. "Yuuko's... fault..." he ground out in irritation. That was explanation enough.

Doumeki, predictably enough, merely shrugged. "So how do we get out of this?"

_The glue only releases after the truth of the bond between those... affixed... is acknowledged._

Thinking of the solution made Watanuki positively light-headed. He looked at Doumeki - his rival, the bane of his existence, the one person who... No, no, no. He was _not_ going there. He started to jerk his hand away again, thinking the loss of a few layers of skin were a small sacrifice in maintenance of his dignity.

Their hands remained stubbornly attached. This was not happening, Watanuki tried to reassure himself, but the grim reality of the situation was starting to sink in as Doumeki's warm hand followed whatever way Watanuki jerked.

Watanuki threw his head back, and roared his futile protests out to the uncaring gods that had to be laughing at this, the ultimate humiliation. "Oh, HELL NO!" 


End file.
